Alma Mater

[thedarkages]

I just attended my high school's twentieth reunion. It's one of those high schools hidden away in U.S. News's rankings because it skews the statistics -- which is a way of saying that there were no jocks or cheerleaders to impinge on the collection of the dweebs/brains/disaffected.

I was surprised at the basic decency of most of the people there. My expectation had been that I would have to listen to a lot of people talk about what wonderful lives they had -- the degrees, professions, children, marriages, houses, cars, and honors that had come as their just rewards. Instead, there were not a few people who talked about the difficulty of living up to their early promise; as Blanchot says in La Folie du Jour, "What are these gifts, that stand over us like gowned judges?" I felt connected to them in a way I never had in high school, where, despite a culture of learning, I was nonetheless effectively marginalized for five years out of six. So, for me, reunion was not so much about finding how people "turned out"; I think I would have become greatly depressed if I had been forced to acknowledge my envy at what they had achieved. It was more about finding how people were. It was unexpected, but strangely affirming.

Comments

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

...I was nonetheless effectively marginalized for five years out of six.

You were brave to even go, considering this.

My oldest child was identified by her elementary school as being quite bright. They recommended I put her in the GATE program, so I did for a short time. I removed her from the program when I visited the classroom one day and heard the teacher tell the kids, "Children, you are GIFTED. Because you are more intelligent than the other children, you are the hope for the future!"

I was all for putting my daughter in a more stimulating environment, so she wouldn't get bored in school. I was NOT all for having her head filled up with a bunch of bullshit that was bound to make her feel like her role in life was to save humanity, thus setting her up for failure. What kind of pressure is that to put on a child?

It was also shortly after that when I decided to home school.

I'm glad you enjoyed your reunion.

[thedarkages]

Well, I was supposed to save humanity. In 1993, unfortunately, I had to revert to my weak, clumsy, and fallible human identity, and got stuck there for keeps. Fortunately, some of my classmates are still out there, saving humanity from things like leukemia and poverty. Every once in a while, I feel as though I have it in me to turn back into my old self; that quickly passes.